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Love

Love, Taking Care of Yourself

Denial-A Coping Mechanism

Lora, Cindy and Marcia Marin

Definition of Denial.  “The action of declaring something to be untrue.”

I must admit, at times, I lived in denial.  Denial isn’t a bad place, only if you stay there forever, but for me, that place gave me solace for a short time. Article on Denial:  mayoclinic.org/healthy/denial

When situations became unbearable, that is where I sought to be.  When Lora died because of Huntington’s disease (HD), when Marcia had a stroke because of Huntington’s disease, when Cindy was diagnosed with Huntington’s disease, I went to my special place, denial, to regroup, gather strength and recharge. What is HD? https://hdsa.org/#

To be present and help my three sisters-in-law have the highest quality to their life, for as long as possible, escaping to my denial place helped me cope and face another day.

The nonfiction book I published was written in Lora, Marcia, and Cindy’s honor.  100% of the proceeds are being donated to the nonprofit, Huntington’s Disease Society of America (HDSA) to help in the fight against the cruelest disease on the planet.  Author website:  http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com

 

We Can Never Lose HOPE………………..

About Author, Love

Live, Laugh, Love

Each of us is given but one pass through life.  No retakes.  No repeats. 

So, make a covenant –

To live well.   Be good to yourself, your family and others.   Be big in behavior, not small.  Think mature, not immature.   Take the long view, not shortsighted.   Participate thickly, not thinly.   Consider carefully Abraham Lincoln’s thought that “in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  

Oscar Wilde

Or roll Oscar Wilde’s thought around during the day:  “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”  Celebrate how great life is.  The world is a beautiful place to be.  Colorful.  Stimulating.  Interesting.

To laugh often.     Laughter cures the soul.  It removes masks.  Humanizes.    Laughter heals many rifts, bridges many gaps.  It builds memories.   Laughter is universal among people.  Laughter makes you live longer.  Laughter makes friends, builds memories. Laughter vanquishes demons and warms your soul.

To love greatly and deeply. Love is the most generous gift given us.  Love makes all else possible.   To love greatly means to love unselfishly, for the sake of others as well as yourself.   To love things beyond yourself, beyond your personal interests. Love gives back two fold. Love improves others.  Love improves the giver.

From Prof. Marty’s Corner https://www.livelaughlove.com/live-laugh-love-blog/philosophy

Author Therese Crutcher-Marin
John and Therese

Love is what got John & I through the tough times…………watching Lora, Marcia & Cindy, my three sisters-in-law, struggle with Huntington’s disease.

Therese’s author website: http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com
Love

Grief Is The Price For Love

When we LOVE, we don’t realize that at some point in our life, we will experience tremendous grief when losing that person.

Would you turn away from loving a person because of the pain you will experience?  I don’t believe so.

If you don’t open your heart to love, you will never know grief because grief and sorrow are the price we pay to LOVE. The death of someone you LOVE is one of the greatest sorrows that can occur.

“Every time we make the decision to LOVE someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving…the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And LOVE is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.” — Henri Nouwen

Articles on the relationship between love and grief:

https://thriveworks.com/blog/grief-love-losing-someone-never-easy-focus-good/

https://themindfulnessapp.com/grief-is-the-price-we-pay-for-love/

We Can Never Lose Hope………

Therese’s book can be purchased on many book websites like Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

 

Love

Forgiveness

My sisters-in-law, Lora, Marcia and Cindy were my friends, kind, gentle women; they didn’t chose to have Huntington’s disease (HD); it wasn’t their fault.

HD is a fatal genetic disorder that progressively destroys the nerve cells in the brain. There is NO CURE.  It’s like having ALS, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s at the same time. http://www.hdsa.org

Fear, anger, sadness overwhelmed me at times and I’m thankful for the counselor I had and for working in the healthcare industry.  I wish I could have done more for Lora, Marcia and Cindy; I did the best I could at the time.  So, after 10 years, I’ve forgiven myself.

Article on:  How to forgive yourself and move on from the past 

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boes

                            

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

 

Therese at the 2018 HDSA Annual Convention in LA selling her book.100% of the proceeds go to HDSA.

We Can Never Lose HOPE……..

Kindness, Love

The Hero’s In My Life

Like many people, I have several hero’s that I hold in high regard.  Most of them, for me anyway, are women who have inspired me, taken chances and usually succeeded, stepped outside their comfort zone to achieve their goal(s). 

#1. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross-A Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying (1969), where she first discussed her theory of the five stages of grief, also known as the “Kübler-Ross model”.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_K%C3%BCbler-Ross 

Since I worked in hospice for 10 years, I’m grateful to her for starting the conversation on dying and how hospice can assist the dying to have the highest quality to their life until they pass.  She created the first hospice house in England, and the hospice idea moved to the U.S. in the 1960’s.

#2.  Mother Teresa-Known in the Catholic Church as Saint Teresa of Calcutta, was an Albanian-Indian Roman Catholic nun and missionary. This woman emits unselfishness, kindness, love and hope.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Teresa  

#3.  Lora, Marcia and Cindy, are my hero’s not just because they had Huntington’s disease; it was their attitude towards life, and how precious it was to them despite their circumstance.  Also, they were the kindest, most generous, positive women I’ve ever met.   What is Huntington’s disease 

Therese’s memoir/nonfiction book, Watching Their Dance: Three Sisters, a Genetic Disease and Marrying into a Family At Risk for Huntington’s, is available on her author website  http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com   & on Amazon, B&N, & in Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks format.

100% of the proceeds from Therese’s book is being donated to HD organizations around the world.

We Can Never Lose Hope………………..

 

Kindness, Love

The Wind Beneath My Wings

One of my favorite songs is The Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler; from the movie Beaches. The song depicts the relationship between two woman, Bette Midler and Barbara Hersey, and their undying friendship, love and devotion despite their differences. I love Bette Midler as an actress and singer.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaches_(film) 

Whenever I hear it on the radio, I think of my husband, John Anthony Marin, my rock, my ever positive influencer in my life, the most resilient person I know, who kept me from shrinking into the depth of despair as each sister-in-law left this world because of Huntington’s disease.   http://www.hdsa.org 

John was the wind that supported me as we traveled through turbulent times in our life; he is still my biggest supporter and I would fall to the earth without him.  We now travel together into a smooth, calm breeze of peace and tranquility. 

So I ask you.  Who is the wind beneath your wings?  

Therese’s memoir/nonfiction book, Watching Their Dance: Three Sisters, a Genetic Disease and Marrying into a Family At Risk for Huntington’s, is available on her author website  http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com   & on Amazon, B&N, & in Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks format.

100% of the proceeds from Therese’s book sold in the U.S. will be donated to HDSA.  http://www.hdsa.org     Therese and John donated $9,015.00 to HDSA that is the profit from book sales since Therese published in April 2017.

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Love

Loving Deeply

Forty years ago, I chose to be with John despite his unknown gene status for Huntington’s disease (HD). This may sound a little crazy, but living at risk for Huntington’s disease with John, for 38 years, and the precariousness of the situation, fortified my marriage.  I say this because when knowing my world could change over night, and steal what I loved most in this world, made me appreciate John everyday, never taking him or our relationship for granted. Living_at_risk_of_HD_  

And, I learned to love more deeply in the shadow of John’s mortality.

John and I rarely fought, we had some disagreements, but never got mad at each other.  Life is just too short not to forgive because we are all human and we all make mistakes.

The things I learned through this journey with Huntington’s disease looming over us, was to appreciate what I had in my life at that moment; I lived mindfully.  Also, John and I also didn’t put off the things we wanted to do and we able to create so many wonderful memories together with our children.  12 Indispensable Mindful Living Tools 

Therese’s memoir/nonfiction book, Watching Their Dance: Three Sisters, a Genetic Disease and Marrying into a Family At Risk for Huntington’s, is available on her author website  http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com   & on Amazon, B&N, & in Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks format.

100% of the proceeds from Therese’s book is being donated to HD organizations around the world.

 Subscribe to Therese’s Blog via Email

 Enter your email address to subscribe to Therese’s blog and receive notifications of new posts by email and receive the first chapter of her book, Watching Their Dance, via email.

Family, Love

A Message from Author Therese Crutcher-Marin

Many of you know I’m involved in the Huntington’s disease community and a board member on the HDSA Northern California Chapter.  Until I published my book, Watching Their Dance, I was unable to speak about John and my life at-risk for the cruelest disease because of the grief I carried in my soul.  Writing my story was a healing journey which allowed me to place the grief in a book and show the world what Huntington’s disease families go through for generations.    http://www.hdsa.org    

The following are reasons why I wrote the book and outcomes since I published April 2017.

  1.  The book is a personal HD fundraiser/HD awareness project and 100% of the proceeds from books sold in the U.S. are being donated to Huntington’s Disease Society of America (HDSA) to help in the fight against this horrific disease that killed my mother-in-law and 3 sisters-in-law. By heightening awareness, I hope to increase donations from folks who have never donated to our cause.
  2.  It’s an inspirational love story, over 38 years, and how John and I lived in the shadow of Huntington’s disease.  Since April 2017, I’ve sold 1,500 books/ebooks and my goal is 5,000. My book can be found on my Author Website: www.theresecrutchermarin.com, Amazon, B&N and other book websites.  $7.00 is donated to HDSA each time the book is purchased.
  3.  John and I donated $9,015.00 to HDSA in December 2017 which was the profit from books sold since I published in April 2017. 

We Can Never Lose HOPE………………..  

Woody Guthrie Festival 7-2017

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Love

“Watching Their Dance”-A Poignant Love Story

 

“Crutcher-Marin writes affectingly about the way her marriage was actually fortified by its precariousness—she learned to love more deeply in the shadow of her husband’s mortality. She also tenderly portrays the plight of his sisters—beleaguered not only by the deadly genetic inheritance, but also difficult childhoods stained by loneliness and abandonment. This is a rare treat—a true story that is as uplifting as it is heartbreaking.  A poignant remembrance of a love forged in crisis.”

To read the full book review, go to:  Kirkus Reviews   

Therese’s memoir/nonfiction book, Watching Their Dance: Three Sisters, a Genetic Disease and Marrying into a Family At Risk for Huntington’s, is available on her author website  http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com   & on Amazon, B&N, & in Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks format.

100% of the proceeds from Therese’s book is being donated to HD organizations around the world.

 Subscribe to Therese’s Blog via Email

 Enter your email address to subscribe to Therese’s blog and receive notifications of new posts by email and receive the first chapter of my book, Watching Their Dance, via email.

 

 

About Author, Love

A Fork in the Road

Watching Their Dance: Three Sisters, a Genetic Disease and Marrying into a Family At Risk for Huntington’s, is a memoir/nonfiction book, reflecting on the many crossroads I’ve been confronted with in my life, particularly a major one in November 1978. We all face them and I believe crossroads are an opportunity to explore our potential.

The following is the first paragraph in Chapter 1 which sets the stage for the story. “Some lives seem to move smoothly along a natural continuum, with one event or decision seeming to slide into the next. Such people seem to have faced no dramatic forks in the road, had few life-altering choices to make. Other lives, at least in hindsight, travel in a particular direction at one particular life-changing moment. That’s what happened to me, when, at age twenty-two, I suddenly had to confront the most complicated decision of my life.”

Life’s crossroads create opportunity for us to choose between different options, and when we see someone embracing the moment when choices are decided upon, it can be awe-inspiring. A crossroad is about change.

Watching Their Dance: Three Sisters, a Genetic Disease and Marrying into a Family At Risk for Huntington’s, is available on Therese’s author website  http://www.theresecrutchermarin.com   & on Amazon, B&N, & in Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks file. 100% of proceeds goes to Huntington’s disease organizations around the world.

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We can never lose HOPE…………Therese